Peer pressure

People in northern Norway are pretty much well known for speaking their minds.
I wonder though why they have a facination with peer pressure in the "childrens department"?

First off, when you reach a certain age of about 25-30 (depending on how established you are of course, but as soon as you have a regular job and are done with studies at least) there seems to be common misconception that you get a freebie to come with "shouldn't you get a girlfriend soon?" comments at other people's expense. We're also talking about pretty much everyone across all strata of society here!

Luckily for me I already had one at that time, so I fortunately skipped that part. Though when that part is secured people start wondering out loud, to your face, if you shouldn't have children soon? And at this point I should point out that I honestly think this is worse for women because they have a tighter timeframe in which they can get children and the risks increase with age, etc. etc. 

Now, these cheeky comments are to me just about the absolute peek of arrogance, and I will elaborate that point thus:
1) You don't have anything to say about if another person has sex or not (ignoring incest, rape and other illegal kinds of course). It is a private matter and none of your business!
2) How do you know the persons aren't trying to have children, but just aren't able to? Do you know for sure they're not trying IVF? Don't you think that if that's the case it might be a sore spot for you to trample on like that?
3) What the fuck do you know about the priorities of other people? Perhaps they really don't want children? Perhaps they dont want more than one? Perhaps they rather objectivly question their own abilities to be parents? Perhaps there are things in their lives they want to get straightened out before they start focusing on that part? You could just try to be a supportive friend and allow them to do the talking and decide if they wanna confide in you perhaps?

I honestly don't think that peer pressure is a requisite for humanity! I think people will try to have children when and if they feel ready for it. We all know it's a huge responsibility, so please respect other people's privacy and right to decide if that's their thing or not. Of course you get a sort of passive peer pressure when all your friends start getting children, but there's really no way around that part, and people will talk about what's on their mind, and for a toddlers parents that's mainly work and the little toddler. The important part here is for the parent to try and discuss previous hobbies you might have had in common or something so that it's not just poo, regurgitation and/or "babys first steps"-talk.


Like the other day in my job, I was asked by a colleague if I hadn't thought about getting a second child soon? Mostly I just want to snap out something like "Well, how's your sexlife?", but I know that will just be seen as childish and small minded. But this is from a person that's 25, with a boyfriend of her own who doesn't have a child of her own yet, and surely must start to "feel the pressure" too?

So is this something that's particular to the north of Norway?
No, but it might be more pronounced here, I don't know...
Does it stop after you've had your obligatory two children also?
Not by a long shot... My father was asked when I was about 5 (and my brother 8 or 9) if they didn't plan on having more children "since the first ones turned out ok". I don't even know where to begin with that sentence, but I guess I should start with something like: How the fuck do you know how kids will turn out before they've even reached puberty?!

And children aren't something that ends after their birth, that's when it starts and you will always have them there (hopefully at least) for the rest of your life. It's a huge financial burden, it's gonna consume all your avaliable time, but you'll also certainly love them to bits.

But in the end, shouldn't we, since we're living in a democracy, also have the freedom of choice about parenthood?


(Oh, and I know there hasn't been much miniatures talk on this page recently, but that's something I hope to remedy once I change jobs in december. I've bought the Sevrin Loth figure already, so I'm hoping that's gonna turn out nice in the end... Cheers!)